As part of our Janice Lee Blue Wave bursary, applicants are asked to write a letter to a teenager struggling with a mental health or substance use problem, as they were at the beginning of their journey. They are asked to share what they have learned about their experience, including what has helped them the most to have hope for the future.
We were so impressed with the letters we have been receiving that we wanted to share them with you here. We are publishing them anonymously but each letter is from a different BC youth. As you can see the letters are heartfelt and inspiring, showing us that young people can and do get better, even when they have hit ‘rock bottom’.
Writing a letter can be a great way to get thoughts and feelings into perspective, whether you are in the grip of a mental health or substance use problem, recovering from one, or looking back on the experience. If you want to write your own letter to share with other young people, please send it into us and we would be happy to publish it on our website.
Please note that the content below discusses the following topics: abuse, anxiety disorders, dissociation, depression, eating disorders, fetal alcohol spectrum disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder, self-injury and suicide.
2020 Bursary Applicant Letters
Dear You,
I know it’s cliche and you may not believe me, but things will get better. A few years ago if someone had told me this I wouldn’t have believed it either. My anxiety and depression controlled my life. I couldn’t imagine having a future, starting a career, getting married, or just being happy. I had no hope, and more than anything I just wanted all the pain to stop. While my struggle with mental health was the most difficult part of my life, it’s also been the most rewarding. Before this, I was a totally different person. Having this experience has given me a new outlook and appreciation for life. I know it’s easy to wish this all away, to wish for things to go back to how they were because that’s what I thought when I was in your shoes. However having been through this experience, I wouldn’t trade it for the world. Yes, I’m different now than I was then, but I have so much more appreciation for the little things in life and I like the person that I am now more than who I was back then. My biggest piece of advice for you is to find something to work towards or work on, whether that just be working towards graduating, a career, or a project or activity. I’ve found that having a direction in life, something big to work towards has given me more hope for the future. Having these goals made it so much easier for me to find the motivation to keep going. My final piece of advice is to make sure to remember that recovery has no timeline. No matter what you’re struggling with, don’t let anyone rush your healing process. Don’t compare your journey to others because everyone copes differently. It’s okay to take your time to get to where you need to be. You’re strong and I know you can do this! I hope my sharing this experience has given you some hope that things will get better.
Sincerely,
Me
Dear You,
I remember being in a similar place as you are now. Everyone’s journey is different but I hope this may give you hope that life does get better. At the end of grade 7, my life flipped upside down. I was a competitive figure skater for as long as I can remember. That was my identity and hearing the words “you can’t skate anymore” was difficult. I didn’t know who I was anymore. I experienced another traumatic event around the same time. The coping skill I had always used, skating, was taken away from me and I didn’t know how to cope with how I was feeling. I felt ashamed that I was struggling and was scared to reach out for help. After a long time, I thought how I felt was my new “normal” since I didn’t remember a time I didn’t feel that way; being suicidal, anxious, having flashbacks, hating my body, etc. I began to use food as a coping mechanism. All I would focus on is how little I could eat or how many calories I could burn. I thought I wasn’t sick enough to reach out for help. The main thing I learned was it is okay to ask for help. There is no such thing as “sick enough” if it is affecting your everyday life, ask for help now! Recovery is hard although it is the best thing I have ever done. I now enjoy summers going to the beach in a swimsuit, eating with friends and family. Also, I have found new passions such as photography, traveling, and being a mental health advocate. Once I learned I could ask for help, my life has changed for the better.
Sincerely,
Me
2019 Bursary Applicant Letters
Dear You,
I know things look tough right now. I know it looks like there’s no way out. I know it feels as if the world has turned its back on you, and that it feelslike nobody cares about you. I know you’ve read many things telling you it’ll get better. Things that tell you you’re loved and cared for and can push through. I know people tell you to look forward to certain things in life such as graduating, getting a job, getting married, starting a family, etc. I’m here to tell you that yes, it does suck, and it’s okay to feel as if there’s nowhere to turn. If there’s one thing I’ve learnt through my journey with mental health, it’s that there is always someone who cares and is willing to put in the time to help you. It may not be your family, and it may not be your friends, but there is always someone. A teacher, employer, acquaintance, classmate, counsellor, or therapist who would be devastated to see you go. I’ve learned that you can’t do this alone, and that’s okay. Ask for help, reach out, dont’ push yourself, know progress isn’t linear and that you may relapse. That’s all okay and expected. Set goals and expectations but don’t beat yourself up if you don’t meet them- it’s okay to get back up and try again. I’ve learnt that it’s okay to look forward to the small things; like when your cat falls asleep on your lap, or eating your favourite food after having craved it for weeks. There are so many reasons to stay alive and keep fighting, and they don’t have to be big. Learn to fall in love with the seemingly mundane. Remember what it feels like to have the sun on your face, or hear the rain fall outside. All I know is that everyday is a new day with new experiences to look forward to and grow from. So stay alive, keep going, and keep fighting for yourself.
Sincerely,
Me
Dear You,
It gets better. Not by a lot at first and by no means fast, but it gets better. You’re able to see again. For a long time I was very ashamed of my self-harm, and I think that is why I kept it to myself. You don’t realize it though, but keeping the dark thoughts in is a huge weight on your shoulders. I only realized this when I told someone, and believe me that was the scariest moment of my life. Because what if they don’t accept you? What if they let you go? Well, some do; but then again why would you want someone in your life that will only accept you on the good days. After you tell someone about your experience it gets easier. Every time I shared my story I got less afraid because now what I’m going through isn’t so much of a secret anymore. It made me feel less alone. Some even shared that they felt the same. I’ve now been talking to a counselor. Again sharing your story, especially with someone who is trained and wants to help is amazing. I would also suggest finding an outlet, a hobby that helps you think, running is mine. When I run, all the stress leaves and I’m left in my own little world to think. When i finish races, the high that I get and the confidence I build is unbelievable. So far I’ve completed many races, each building my self-worth higher and higher. So whether your outlet is exercise, music or dance, find it because you’ll find joy again. Whatever your journey looks like and even if you can’t see the future, you’re not alone. There’s so much to live for, even if right now you can’t see it. Talk to someone, find something you love and chase it. Even now, after years of help I am not perfect and I have flaws, but the difference is I now have things in life I love. Remember, there is still sun behind the clouds, and the rain will stop, I promise.
Sincerely,
Me
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